Saturday, September 21, 2013


Warning: This could be quite gross - gross for people who cannot accept the truth.

On a recent overnight train journey, while I was still awake and wishing to get a berth with my RAC ticket, a sudden commotion erupted in the compartment next to mine. I looked over to see a flurry of activity which made the TC spring into action. Calls were made, a man detained, women's pleas to let him free and much more. The reason- the man in question apparently was testified against by an 8 yr old girl for molesting her. He, the girl said, put his hand over her mouth and touched her body.  
For all those people who have chosen to advice me to wear 'decent' clothes, 'be in group', not to go to less crowded places etc etc., let me clarify that here was a girl, just 8 year old, knowing no provocativeness whatsoever, wearing clothes that covered her from head to toe, travelling in a 'fairly crowded' train, and with her parents. Now, my dear friends, kindly explain what made the man touch her????

As I sat there stunned as the little girl testified, men from the entire boggie converged in. Some drama happening here??? Oh sure it was! Cause, later the women folk related to the accused, including his wife, begged the child's parents to take the complaint back... Huh??? Would they expect such forgiveness to happen had it happened to their daughter?? "My husband would never do such a thing", his wife reasoned. But, how did she know? Why would a sleeping child get up in the middle of the night to identify and testify against a man if not for his illegal touch which has sent a chill down her spine?

While the man was taken away, the father of the child slept with her on the same berth so as to give her assurance and protection. Was he destined to live a life of a watch man throughout his life? Is that why they say, to have a daughter is like having red hot coal tied to the ends of your saree??

I want to know, what is it that makes men reach out and touch? 
What is it that makes men so curious? 
What is it that makes them ‘want’ an unknown person of the opposite sex? 
Exactly what is it that makes them want to touch our breasts? 
If you want them, then go for an implant surgery. You can fondle them your whole life!

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 Scene X: Years ago, anatomy dissection class: We had finished dissecting the soft tissue of the maxillofacial tissues. We now had to cut open the skull to learn the insides of the skull cavity. A saw was brought and the students given a chance to saw away the skull themselves. I wanted to do it too. I raised my hands to show my interest and a voice from behind said, "You cannot do it, it is difficult.. It's the boys job". The voice was that of a girl.... How did she know it was difficult if she had never tried? Why did she resign without knowing? Why did she give up even before she got into it? Me being me still went ahead and begged for a chance which I was luckily given. While I sawed away the bone, there was not one voice of appreciation. I was slow I agree, the bone yielded slowly, I agree. But we were there to learn, not hurry. Concentrating hard on the job, I heard another voice, "Leave it ya, it’s not for us''. This time too the voice was that of a girl, my best friend at that.

Scene Y: Orthodontics (ortho) pre-clinical lab: A department where you learn to straighten thin wires and bend them into various shapes and mini shapes to become those braces that you have seen. It is indeed a task. The finger pricks, the rough marks, altering the surface anatomy of our fingers to some extent will attest to that fact. In one such class, when a certain appliance ripped out the skin of a friend I heard a voice, "Ortho is a subject for the strong, for the men folk to specialise in...". This time too the voice was that of a girl.

Scene Z: A function: As I was bidding adieu, I was asked when I would be returning back to my place. The night train, I replied. “Never travel by night. It’s better to be safe than to be sorry’’, I was told. “Haven’t you heard of the stories?”, I was asked. The advice was from an aunt. A female once again.....

How many times will we women folk refuse to raise against the obvious? 
How many times will we be submissive? 
How many more times will we resign to our 'gender'?? 
Let me ask, how many times have you taken your two-wheeler on that street where you have heard that accidents are more? Many times, isn’t it? You still take the road despite accidents, you still go by flight despite crashes and hijackings, then why should I not travel by night? Why should I live my life in fear?????

When can I live life without worrying???

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Scene A: On the roads. With my back pack across my shoulders, I was riding my vehicle at around 4ish in the evening. At a fairly busy circle, while I slowed down to let a vehicle pass ahead, a hand suddenly shot out, groped at my breast and suddenly he was gone. An ‘unknown’ touch paralysed the rest of my evening!

Scene B: A crowded movie theatre. Engrossed in the movie, I felt something sliding by my side. Concentrating for a split second, I ignored it. How can it be? It was my friend sitting by that side. Moments later the hand came up again and this time I was not mistaken. A ‘known' touch paralysed me for many days as I tried shrugging the memory off..

Scene C: Bus journey with a gang of friends. A man chose to open his fly and dangle his precious thing naked, (yes yes, naked) on to a friend's shoulder. Turning to her left to see what was trying to seek her attention, she started gasping for breath. By the time she could gain her composure back he was gone.

Scene D: A fairly crowded over-bridge. A man was seen shagging on the bridge! When did it become his private space, especially with no movie posters around to 'seduce him'? He took to his heals after being shouted at.

What makes you want to show your desperation when you molest?
What makes you want to show your physical power on us when you indulge in raping?
Or are you showing us that you are emotionally weak and hence cannot control your fantasies?
What makes you scan through us when we are just walking down the lane?
What makes you want to know us as commodity, a property you can lay your hands on?
What makes you think you own us and the world? 

And then,

Why are we taught to hold a pin while sleeping in buses to counter the hands that slide through smallest of small openings?Why are we not instead taught to get up and slap the owner of the hands???
Why are we taught not to go out alone? Why are we not instead taught to earn our right to live without fear?
Why are we taught to be submissive? Why are we not instead taught to fight?
Why are we taught to live carefully? Why are we not instead taught to live care freely?
Are we not entitled to live without worry, live without abandon, live our life?  


Beause, without the right to live without constant fear, all other rights are meaningless...

#livewithoutfear #equality #womenrights #molestation


  1. I want you to keep blogging Lakshmi so I have sent the Liebster Blog Award your way :-)

  2. We live in a sad sad world.
    A world where it is acceptable for the man to live off of a woman's earnings but she can't be proud of it.
    A world where molestation by a stranger is condemned but the same action by a kith/kin is acceptable
    A world where the same men who worship goddesses in temples disrespect them outside of them
    A world where the same men who wouldn't accept another man touching a their wife or daughters feel it's acceptable to be inappropriately touching other women